Family Series: Husband and Wife (1)

February 7, 2021

Pastor Gavin started this special Sunday by sharing the Bible verses from 1 Peter 3:10-12 to remind us to be careful with our tongue and keep our tongue from evil. We should use our mouth to build trust, praise, care and speak the truth.

Brother Wai Hong and sister Elaine, the hosts of this special Sunday Service, adopted an interview approach for pastor Gavin and Arlene to talk about the theme –  communication.

First of all, pastor Gavin and Arlene shared about some stories of their communication in the 27 years of marriage. They did go through tough times and have kept learning how to communicate more effectively and build up each other in God’s love.

Pastor Gavin shared Gottman’s research about the communication patterns that destroy trust, including criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. If we keep focusing on ourselves, these problems will appear and damage the relationship. Moreover, some problems cannot be solved instantly. They are issues related to our personalities, habits or our upbringing. To deal with those issues, we should be willing to humble ourselves and respect one another. We should trust that God can change all things and solve all problems. What we need to do is to bear with each other with God’s grace and patience.

Pastor Gavin and Arlene also answered some questions raised by brothers and sisters on Slido. Someone asked about how to deal with differences in their expectations and participation in church ministry. They said it was understandable that a couple might have differences in their extent of involvement in ministry. Husband and wife should respect each other’s choice and complement each other in terms of their commitment and functions in both the church and family.

In the end, pastor Gavin reminded us that our words are powerful, so we should be very careful with them. The Bible says, “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21-22). God gives us our tongue to bless our spouse.

Let us humble ourselves and let God be with us in all our relationships so that our relationships will be blessed by Him.

Zoom Session with Hope Couples

After the Sunday Service, there was a sharing session for all hope couples with pastor Gavin and Arlene. Different couples shared about their experiences in learning to communicate and build up one another in God. After that, pastor Gavin shared that we all needed God to help us. The key thing is we have the Spirit of the Lord, so we need not use our strength. Moreover, it is good to share more, meet more and build better relationship, so we can encourage each other and grow together.

Thank God for this special Sunday Service and the wonderful and joyful Zoom sharing session.