Family Series – Courtship II
Jan 30, 2022
Pastor Gavin gave a sermon on the topic “Relational Person”, which was related to the afternoon workshop about courtship. In the 1960s, there was a social movement called the “sexual revolution” that challenged traditional codes of behaviour related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the United States and the developed world. Since then, premarital sex, cohabitation, abortion, homosexuality, transgender operations all followed. Therefore, it is important to know the fundamental Biblical truth about relationships.
Man was created in the image of God – body and soul/spirit. God created the body, then breathed a breath of life (spirit/soul), so God’s creation is not one-dimensional. The purpose is to reflect the attributes of God such as love, joy, peace and so on. Our body is an eternal vessel to reflect the glory of God, so our body is very precious. Our body is sacred because God is in it.
Another point to note is that God created one humanity in two distinct genders. One humanity means one mankind, with male and female, both created in the image of God, just as the Trinity, one God who exists as three distinct persons. It tells us that the change can be on the appearance, but not the inside (the spirit).
Everyone needs relational intimacy in terms of body, soul and spirit. A single person is holistically complete but he can still have relational intimacy with others. Jesus was an example, too. He was single but He had intimate relationships with His friends on earth and with His father in heaven. Therefore, we are created to be relational persons.
In the second part of the preaching, pastor Arlene shared that the fundamental element for relationships is love. She reminded that trust comes first, then love. Our trust comes from the Lord. If we put on the mind of Christ, we can trust God and rest, which leads to the harmony of people, then harmony between people and nature.
2) Workshop on Courtship
Brother Wai Hong started the workshop on courtship in the afternoon with praise and worship. Brothers Wai Hong and Jacky were the hosts while pastors Gavin and Arlene were invited as guests.
In this session, they chose a few questions brothers and sisters asked on Slido to discuss. The first question was about what to do if a brother had a romantic feeling towards a sister. Brother Wai Hong shared about his experience before. Brother Jacky shared his view that waiting is important and that one should not focus too much on the relationship but should focus on praying to God.
Another question was about how to handle pressure from family when one reached the so-called age to get married and the query about whether it was God’s will for one to be single. Pastor Gavin advised us not to label ourselves whether we are destined to be single or not. People are very independent now and able to support ourselves, so we don’t need to feel bad even if we have been single for a long time. While waiting, we should find the fulfillment in the Lord. We are relational people, so we should seek relational intimacy with brothers and sisters while waiting, which is discipleship. Moreover, marriage is not the ultimate answer of relationships.
One question was about the romantic feeling. Pastor Gavin said feelings of men and women are different. Love is not the key of relationships, but trust. Courtship is about building trust. Feeling is never satisfied and changes all the time. Just like our relationship with God, trust binds us together. Even after getting married, we still need to continue to build trust. We should also seek to build trust with brothers and sisters in ministry.
To end the workshop, pastor Gavin shared that there are no perfect matches. The differences between a couple are opportunities to bring healing upon them. Moreover, we should trust God in our relationships because He cares for us.
Thank God for the fruitful interaction among brothers, sisters, the hosts and pastors.